Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Monday* Madness with Questionable Content

 
Hello again blogosphere!

In case anyone was wondering, the holidays that had been sneaking up on me finally pounced.  I've been away from internet for days now, and when I got back home the internet was down.  Well it's back up just now.

Questionable Content is dear to my heart, as webcomics go (you can't let them get too close or the pixels will poke a valve).

The first time I read it, I read it front to back in one sitting.  This was when it was already past 500 comics.  It's meant to be read start to finish, as the stories and jokes continue and build.   The art of creator Jeph Jacques (sweet name huh?)  has changed a lot since QC started.  It can be great fun to watch the art improve over time, if you like that sort of thing.  I do!

Here is the comic that introduces the main character, Marten Reed:


More questionable content (literally) coming from me soon.  I've got a few stories in the works, as well as some random writing-related things to share too!

*I'll get back to actual Mondays soon, I promise!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Hibiscus Flower Tattoo For Women On Arm

Hibiscus Flower Tattoo For Women On Arm1.Hibiscus Flower Tattoo For Women On Arm

Hibiscus Flower Tattoo For Women On Arm2.Hibiscus Flower Tattoo For Women On Arm

Hibiscus Flower Tattoo For Women On Arm3.Hibiscus Flower Tattoo For Women On Arm

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Privacy Policy

If you require any more information or have any questions about our privacy policy, please feel free to contact us by email at rudvan09@gmail.com.

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If you wish to disable cookies, you may do so through your individual browser options. More detailed information about cookie management with specific web browsers can be found at the browsers' respective websites.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Quote of the Day!

"Not everything happens for a reason, but you can give reason for everything that happens..."

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Monday Madness with The Oatmeal!


Still feels like Monday to me!

The Oatmeal makes me laugh until I cry, literally.  It also has informative topics, such as how to correctly use words like "literally".

Sample topics include:



The Oatmeal creator Matthew Inman describes his ability to write consistently hilarious material as using what everyone is thinking about but not articulating.

And it works for him too - The Oatmeal generates millions of pageviews each month.

Monday, November 22, 2010

James Dias Tattoo, oportunidade

James Dias escreveu para nossa redação a procura de uma oportunidade em um estúdio maior. Sua prioridade é para estúdios em Portugal, onde reside atualmente, mas todas as propostas serão analisadas.

Se você procura um bom tatuador para completar o staff de seu estúdio, confira os trabalhos de James e entre em contato.


O tatuador possui todo material profissional próprio. James Dias é conhecido como JD Tattoo e trabalha profissionalmente no estúdio JD Tattoo fazem três anos.

Os interessados devem entrar em contato.

T.: 351 913234141
E-mail: jamesdias1983@hotmail.com

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Published!

Am I dreaming?  

I've worked at being published for the last six years, writing and writing.  I thought perhaps it would happen in the next 5 years, or even after.  I thought I would collect hundreds of rejection letters before this...

Midwest Literary Magazine just published my short story, Morning Glory!! 

You might remember reading it earlier on this blog as Blossom Archer, where I was looking for feedback on how to put finishing touches on it.  Well, they took it without much editing, and I am in shock.  It's available in MLM's November online collection, as well as their November print magazine, and in a new collection titled Bearing North:

 

When I got the email, I just sat there staring at the screen for many minutes, and then I ran around shouting and dancing.

Life Goal #1 complete!

I'm looking at it as the start to writing salable fiction.  I think I'm lucky they took it, and that I can now set my sights on trying to write more and better.

It's a huge relief though, to have confirmation that I'm doing the right thing at least some of the time.

What's possibly even crazier:  This blog was the safe testing-ground for that story.  I would never have written it if I didn't feel like I had a good outlet for my work.  This blog has sparked a lot of good ideas for me, and now it's making my dreams come true.  It just takes some time, hard work, patience, finding the right outlets, and heaps of luck.

Onward!

Friday Update: Fitting new song for Fat Friday on Everything Else - Enjoy!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Borboletas

"Olá!
Quero saber quanto custa para fazer nas costas a tatuagem.
A tatuagem terá 20 cm, e desejo as mesmas cores. Sou de Frederico Westphalen, mas vou constantemente para Santiago. Sempre quis fazer uma tatuagem porque acho muito bonita essa arte.

Agradeço se for atendida!
Obrigada!"

Eliangela: eliangela_sagi@hotmail.com

Let it Be

"Boa tarde!

Gostaria de saber o orçamento da tattoo em anexo... Os dizeres e a letra serão os mesmos, o tamanho creio que será uns 5cm x 1,5cm... No pé.
Cor: preta
Cidade: Franca - SP

"Let it Be" é uma música dos Beatles que marcou parte da minha vida..."

Bruna: buhbonfim@hotmail.com

Sunday, November 14, 2010

It's been awhile...

It's been a while...
Since I updated my blog!
The Rocket Summer Concert was AMAZING!

Funny Story: I decide to go the this concert with a few of my friends.. I had been waiting approximately 3 years for this great band to come to concert (Great Band = The Rocket Summer)
I'm just hanging out listening to my favorite artist who was an opener for The Rocket Summer
(Favorite Artist = John Allred a.k.a. Allred)
I look through the crowd and happen to see one of my best friends! what are the chances?? So I shoot her a text and couldn't believe she was there... She was there to see this AWESOME band.
(AWESOME band = HE IS WE)
To make a long story short it was awesome to see her. (so that story wasn't really funny.. just pretty much awesome)

Another Funny Story: When we get to this concert we see this MASSIVE line.. Luckily we bought our tickets before hand and got into the concert. As we are walking to get into the back of the line I run into this creepy kid.. Yeah the last concert that we were both at he starred at me the ENTIRE time.. He is just a creepy kid.. We didn't even go together to that concert.. so this time I completely ignored him and he knew I thought he was creepy because I blocked him on Facebook.. 
(Blocking on Facebook = Creepy, Weird, Dislike or All of the Above)
Anywho, The concert was AWESOME! 

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I'm as soft as a baby chicken!" - Jon Ames


New Phone = FASCINATING
Makes sense since I got the DROID FASCINATE.. To say the least this phone is fantastic.. I am really enjoying my Internet... I really LOVE texting with Swype.. 
(For all of you who don't know what Swype is... Google it.)
The color/brightness on the phone is amazing..
This phone keeps me entertained.. If you don't have a DROID I strongly suggest getting one..
They may or may not be the best thing that could happen in your life.. Just sayin'
This phone is also awesome because it is made my SAMSUNG.. 
This phone looks a lot like the iPhone.. But it is more customizable..
(Below is a Picture of this amazing phone)




Anyway that is it for my post tonight.. 
As they say in The Sound Of Music:

"So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night
 I hate to go and leave this pretty sight
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu
So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen
I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye -- Goodbye!"



Saturday, November 13, 2010

A (mine)crafty post.

Wednesday Update
I've got a new post up on Everything Else, and I will be posting some good news soon! 
...................................................................................................................................


One of my life goals is to build a castle with my own hands.

Like this
I have books on Masonry, stone building architecture, and even one on the type of castle I want to build; a Scottish L-Plan Castle.  It's basically just a big house made of stone that you call a castle.  It is feasible if you have a little bit of land and access to field-stones.  It takes a few years of hard work.

I've had the whole thing planned out for a while in my mind.

ENTER MINECRAFT


If you don't know what Minecraft is, there are many, many blog and internet articles about it.  Here is an article that covers most things and links to everything else.  Basically you can use stone and dirt blocks of many types to construct...ANYTHING.  It's totally up to you.  Like being a kid with infinite blocks that stack just right and won't fall over.  Oh Yeah!


I can design and redesign my dreeeeeam-castle until it is exactly the way I want it to look:


Neat! Inspiring! Time Consuming! Why am I so hungry and tired?! What happened to the last four days??!?!

It is cool, but dangerous.


I've spent the last week playing Minecraft while Listening to Spunkshine and/or Your Uncle's Lap.

What is Your Uncle's Lap? Why, it's an awkward yet safe place to be.  It's three guys in Austin, TX, who record the best show in the land!
They are professional yet unpretentious, funny without trying, and always relevant in some way.  It's smart and dirty humor for us internet folk.  If you're feeling down or a little short on laughs, just fire up their show, sit back, play some minecraft (or whatever else you do with your time) and soak up the entertainment.  Guys can relate to their humor better, of course, but girls like it too, because it allows them a peek inside the mind of a twenty-something guy.  (Oh btw this podcast is not suggested for children or the faint of heart).

I suggest starting with Episode 1 or 42...or any of them really.

I can't say enough good things about this podcast, and I've got a feeling they're rising stars of internet comedy (as long as they keep making the podcasts!) 

They even have their own YUL Minecraft land!


This post was all over the place, I know.  It's just me saying "sorry, no writing at the moment."  I've been keeping up writing, but due to these distractions I have nothing coherent enough to post yet.  Soon though - I'm working on super-short fiction so that people don't get depressed just looking at the length of my posts.  Postcard and Flash fiction.  Oh nuts this was a long post too! 

Double Sorry!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Angel of the Odd


I like to read one short story per day.  Usually I'll pull one from some of the pioneers or titans of short fiction.  Poe, Chekhov, James, that sort of thing.  I have their collections bookmarked so if you want to read some you can click on their names.

(from left) Poe, Chekhov, and James out for a jaunt on the beach
Most of us were introduced to these writers in middle or high school.  For me that meant I developed an aversion to them pretty quickly.  Schools generally pound these big names into our heads with as much effect as physically throwing a book at your face.  It takes some years to get over that, but revisiting these gifted fellows is well worth it.  You'll get to do what you want with them: Add their fantastic ideas to your own subconscious, so you can sift it out for later use whenever you need it. 

Take Poe's story The Angel of the Odd for instance.  It's funny and weird because Poe is funny and weird.  He isn't some grave guy who had one story about a bird - he's a quirky alcoholic who had an extremely expansive mind and a wit that could split atoms.


In The Angel of the Odd the narrator is visited by an Angel made of booze bottles, who beats him about the head and neck.  Why?  Because the narrator (obviously Poe) has stopped believing in the odd.  He has given in to thinking that all things are mundane, causally related, and explainable.  The Angel convinces Poe that strange things are possible (Spoiler: Poe ends up dangling naked from a hot-air balloon by the end).

It's a funny and endearing way for this writer to tell us that crazy stuff happens, and that he could have lived a mundane life, but a rude and boozy angel came along and convinced him to tell the world just how odd reality can be.  That's what Poe did from then on.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Monday Madness with Dr. McNinja

 
Today I present a comic that needs (almost) no introduction.
 

So just go to the new readers page if you haven't read Dr. McNinja before, and enjoy hours of laughter and surprise (reader reaction may vary and often involves joyful weeping and/or loss of bodily control)



Oh, and if you were wondering, no webcomic from me.  You can check my other blog to learn why.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Thoreau.


Time to throw out some writers who have made a positive impact on my life and writing!  I'll present these authors in a few words, and make a suggested reading.

Today I recommend:

Naturalist and gifted writer/wild animal Thoreau's life, as recorded by himself.   You get to sit on his shoulder as he takes you through his life experiences.  It is like nothing else I've ever read.  He manages to express thoughts that we've all had in ways so beautiful it will make you rethink your own world.  It's available for around $15 on amazon if you follow this link.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Beyond the Cube, Part 4.


This is the final part.  You'll see by the end that I plan on writing more from this same concept worldLet me know what you think, and thank you to those who make it through the whole thing.

Revelations of a dead man:  There are ghosts and I am one of them.  There are rules to being a ghost, and I broke one of them; never contact the living.  My first breach of this rule led me to my son, and to our Ghost Guide, a towering ancient Viking ghost I dubbed "Blondy".  My son is a ghost too, and we are a team. 

Ghosts can be Explorers, Ghost Catchers, or Guides.  Only Explorers who have lived 500 Earth-years can be Guides, and only then after serving on a Catcher Team for at least another hundred years.  Catchers can trade places and be Explorers, but only if there is an Explorer willing to take his or her place on their designated Catcher Team.  Guides run the show, and they travel distances through time and space to greet and guide the newly dead, and to direct Catchers and Explorers in their training and work. 

Blondy gave us the choice of Catcher or Explorer.   I wanted Explorer.  Ghosts-gone-wild who are hurting the living and dead sounds like a terrifying way to spend your death.  I told Blondy so, and my son just looked at me and said "No way."  I thought he was agreeing with me, and wanted to sail around some new stars, maybe find bug-eyed aliens on strange planets.   I asked Blondy if this was possible.  He said yes, but nothing changed, because Blondy knew my son meant there was no way he would leave Earth.

My son wanted a real life on Earth, any way he could take it.  He wasn't some bitter middle-aged man who wanted to hide behind nebulas, as far away from a mostly-wasted life as possible.  He was just a bright-eyed ghost kid who wanted to see the wonders of the world - especially the animals and volcanoes.  How could I say no?


We are Ghost Catcher team Four-Eighty-One.  There are five hundred teams now, but considering the billions of dead, it is a rarity to be a Catcher Team.  Most teams don't make it through their first few years, or even through training.


Training is different for each team, because it happens in the field.  A Guide will find a minor threat and the Catcher Team responds with the Guide playing Overseer.

Our first training run was with Blondy, who was already tired of us, or seemed to be, before we even got started.   This was before anyone knew what my son really is.  This was before I knew what I am.   This was in a time when I was proud of my son for being a tough little ghost-boy, and nothing more.   I was happy for every second of knowing him even then.

 Training began in Texas.   Waterlogged after being slapped repeatedly by the arms of a low-level hurricane, Corpus Christi stood like a few soggy biscuits of land in a dirty Gulf Soup.  Drowned or otherwise dead souls were guided by Blondy while we took in the sights.  My son loved swimming with the dolphins, who were frisky despite the recent weather.

When Blondy was done with his roundup, and had set the new ghosts on their paths, he led us to an apartment building on the outskirts of town.  It was a squat, dirty brick u-shaped complex, and looked just short of knocked down by the hurricane and general neglect.


Evacuated and somehow dead, this place welcomed no souls to step inside.  The windows made each room look like a dirty fish-tank filled with rancid cooking oil.

Blondy had gotten word that this place housed a minor haunt.  There had been a few people in apartment 205 that were badly scratched and burned last night in the blackness of an early morning without power.   They had reported to hospital staff on their story:  At first doors slammed and books were pushed from shelves, while the family all huddled in one dark room with candles.   Then the candles started guttering in and out, pushed by what they said felt like cold breath.  Then the flames winked out, one-by-one leaving curling smoke.   The smoke cut them, they said, it turned into something with teeth that froze and then burned, and it scratched the daughter's face until she was completely hysterical.   The hospital concluded wild animals pushed into the building by the storm had attacked and bitten them.   Ripples of this news reached Blondy yesterday, and here we were, at the yellowing door to their apartment.

We walked through the door without opening it.  Blondy pointed to the hallway, put his finger to his lips in a shush, and motioned for us to go to the room on the right.

I tried to walk through the wall, but it felt like a cold wind pushed me right back into the hallway.  I felt an electric chill crawl through me.  Thoughts raced in my mind, and I looked down at my son, who had tried and failed to get into the room as well.   Blondy gave us a "what are you waiting for" look, then rolled his eyes and stepped over to the wall.  He brushed his hand over it, and put his ear against the surface.

A spear shot through the wall and through Blondy's head.  His eyes rolled back in his head and he went limp, skewered through the ears by what looked like a javelin of ice.  Jets of white light were shooting out where the spear pierced him, and he was being shaken like a rag-doll by something on the other end.

We just stood there, me in pure panic, and my son in pure calm.  I looked down at him, and he raised his eyebrows in mock surprise.  My son has a good sense of humor in bad situations, it turns out.  He walked over to the spear, and touched it.  It turned to water and splashed with Blondy to the floor, his head smoking and bleeding light, but by the groans we could tell he was still dead.

Then my son wrinkled his nose, seeming like he smelled something awful, and ran right at the wall.  He disappeared through, and the screaming started.  It sounded like a pig-barn burning down.  Screams of human children that would have deafened living ears roiled out into the humid evening air.

I lost my shock with the screams.  That was my boy in there.  I couldn't let him die again.  I'd just met him.  I charged through the wall, and felt something change in me as I did.  I came through on all fours, swiping at the air and growling.  I hit something with my right arm, and it flew across the room, skittered up the wall, and across the ceiling, swooping right back at me.  It looked like an antique hand-painted doll, but it's eyes were black, bleeding holes, and it's mouth a socket of screaming with layer upon layer of tiny shark-teeth.   I crouched and lunged as it came closer, but it wasn't headed for me.  My son was on the ceiling too, hovering calmly.  It met him and ate him whole, crunching and gnashing while it scurried back to the corner farthest from me, staring and chewing thoughtfully.


 Still on all fours, I let out a growl that had built in me, and the force of it shook the thing down to the floor, where it sat, blinked it's bruised eyeless holes, and cocked it's head.   "Dada?" It said, in a sound like a pull-string toy.

I growled again until the world focused into nothing but this horrifying lost soul.  It's sodden garments shook with the force and I advanced on all fours.   It kept saying "Dada" louder and louder, with more distortion each time.  I rushed the last few feet and bit down on a rubbery unforgiving surface, like a car tire, while pulling at the thing's legs to try to disconnect head from body.   It laughed like an old blues singer, pulled my head upward, and kissed me right on the lips with a sagging hole of a mouth that stung like jellyfish.  Rotating teeth started to kick out pieces of my face, right down it's throat, while rubbery arms held me tightly.  I growled into the thing's gullet, knocking some of the stabbing teeth down into the same mess that my son was now a part of - the belly of a true horror.

A smile bloomed on the broken doll lips and it snaked a bladed tongue down my throat.  It searched my throat, cutting everything it could find, and then danced the short journey to my heart.


Blondy burst through the wall and drew a sword from off his back.  It was black, like a missing piece of the universe in the shape of a sword.   He yelled something gutteral and teleported himself straight into the haunting.  It felt like a car-crash.   Airbags and everything.   I was blown back across the room, and Blondy was too.  My sight seemed to flicker, but my heart hadn't been cut by the tongue, which I felt instinctually would be a very bad thing.

Blondy and his sword were a heap, and the toy ghost was screaming again, this time it sounded like pleading.   It began to bulge, like a rotted animal corpse filling with gas.  Arcs of blue and yellow lightning shot from every orifice the thing possessed.   It popped with a sickening tearing sound, and a smell like burning trash filled the air.

The now quiet bedroom was a slushy mess of blood and bile.  There were burn marks on everything and I could barely move.  Blondy sat upright with a gasp, and scrabbled for his sword, sheathing it on his back again.   I looked at him, and all I could say in my sadness and defeat was "nice sword."

"I didn't do that." He said, and pointed.   My son unfurled himself from the remains of the sticky insides.  He crackled lightning up his arms and giggled.   His eyes were glowing with an inner light that faded as he walked up to me, holding glowing chunks in his hands.  "Here's your face!" He said with a snicker, and smashed it against my chin with clawed hands.  I thought it would hurt again, but it just felt like missing pieces of me being restored.  His hands smoothed from claws back to the hands of a ghost-boy, and I picked him up in a tight hug.   I didn't know what to say.   Blondy was muttering about the highly unusual nature of the encounter. "Not supposed to be a major spirit here.  This is unusual.  It blocked my senses somehow.  We should go."


Finally I knew what to say.  "Son,"  I drawled "you got style."  I laughed, and he growled and stomped around the room like a T-Rex.

"I was a dragon! You were a wolf!" He yelled excitedly, and ran over to the smoking remains of the ghost, growling in an imitation of me.   "Your growls made it even crazier, I could feel it go nuts, so I turned into a dragon and blew it up."

"Yes you did, or we wouldn't be here."  I looked over to Blondy, who looked tired and nodded at me.  "I've never had a training run go so bad yet turn out so well.  Your son is special."  He said with awe in his voice, and heaved himself upright.  "It was a blessing we found out instead of putting him through minor tests.  It could have stunted his power."
"And me?" I asked, a little petulantly, though I was beaming with pride inside.

"You showed some talent too.  I'm not sure what kind, but I think you could develop into a strong team, if you survive."

"Cool!" My son, the Dragon, said and "whooshed" his way around the room, completely unhurt and energetic.

Well that's how it began.  Our first catch was a kill.  My son, at least, is a legend now, among ghosts, and this is only the first of many stories.  Ghost Catcher Team Four-Eighty-One has gone by a different name ever since training day one:  Dragon-Wolf.


Picture credit for the photos in this post goes to Alcove